Just to start this off, Covid is seemingly over, I guess, maybe, who knows. Military restrictions have been lifted and we are now free to go out, be around other humans, and see the world! Now that life has gone back to normal, and we are all mask free which has triggered the yearly “hot girl summer” into effect. I think all of us down here in Florida can agree hot girl summer is a thing 24/7. It’s always hot! Right now, its 88 degrees at 8a.m. Hot girl summer to me is constant sweat, hair will always be up in a bun, and in daily agony. Get ready boys…. the hot girls are out and about!
Which is my perfect segway into YAY its summer let’s do shit and take trips! But, when all your friends are married and have kids who do you go out or travel with? Even through my two failed marriages I have usually lived alone most of the past 12 years. Due to my job in the military as well as my spouses’ jobs. Spending time alone isn’t new to me, but I have never traveled solo. I have thought about it a lot and done a lot of research on how to safely travel as a solo female. Typing that into Google will flood your screen with multiple lists of the safest places in the US or the world for a female to travel by herself, along with the places you shouldn’t go. Now I spend a lot of my time watching crime documentaries and listening to pod casts of the same. At times on an obsessive level. It very quickly crossed my mind that these sites are available to the murderers and rapists that also have access to Google. Hell, they could have made the damn lists for all I know! At first this started to deter me from taking my first solo vacation. But after thinking long and hard, bad things happen every day and everywhere. Obviously take precautions, be safe, and make smart choices. But I won’t let these thoughts sneaking into my brain stop me from living my life. (Side note the fact that these are things that women must diligently think out is a whole other topic that I could go about for HOURS, but this is about me getting ready for a road trip, so I’ll stay on topic).
Going and doing things solo is not new to me, I go eat alone sometimes, used to go to the movies solo (pre covid), there are a lot of times in life if I want to go do something then I must be ok with going and doing it alone. The first few times you venture out solo can be daunting. You feel like people are looking at you judging why you’re eating alone, at the event alone, etc. I promise you, they don’t fucking care. And if they do, well fuck them. There are things that yes it would be nice to have someone there with you to experience whatever you’re doing. But the more you do it the more comfortable you will become with being with yourself. Which is a great feeling. People always say, “you have to love yourself before someone else can”. Well how in the world can you love yourself if you don’t get to know yourself.
There are a few ways to ease into spending all this alone time. Finding events, classes, or places with a greater chance of people being there solo. Go to restaurants where you can sit at the bar to eat. Promise at one point you will not only strike up a conversation with the bartender, but there will probably be another person sitting alone as well. It will make you feel more vulnerable if you’re at a table for 4 alone. Find something you’ve always wanted to try and take a class for it. These options might even end in meeting a new friend. Finding new friends as an adult seems to feel like the most daunting task, but it can be very easy. The first step to any of this is leaving your house, which is usually the hardest step for me.
The other option that can make you feel less exposed as a solo venturer is to not be totally solo, take your dog places. I am not telling you to go get a dog if you don’t already have one to make that VERY clear. To get it out of the way, I tend to get annoyed with people that no matter what need to have their dog with them (Obviously excluding service dogs). There is a time and place to have your furry friend with you, but it can broaden the places that you visit or try out. My pup and I have started trying new dog parks out of our area. We have gone to certain restaurants and breweries that openly allow dogs. Meaning I go to places that its certain other dogs will be there. It’s a fine line of do I want to look like the sad lonely girl eating alone, or the annoying lady that will bring my dog to inappropriate places. Going to places with your pup where other pups will also guarantee meeting new people. No one wants to start a conversation more than dog owner, and the conversation will start out about their dog. Same option can be used by finding someone that does CrossFit. You’re guaranteed a conversation.
With all of this not only have I been “getting to know me” as dumb as that sounds. I have decided to take my first vacation just me and my dog. I have such a long list of places I want to go and see. For my first trip going to start out small with a road trip in the U.S. and hopefully build up to traveling solo abroad! I have started my planning which when it’s just you I feel like there is a lot to consider but also more freedom in the trip. You need to be prepared to deal with any issue or “roadblock” on your own. But you can also do whatever you want, if you want to change your trip plan, there isn’t a single person to contest. Since I will be traveling with my puppy buddy Theodore (he is a 7-month-old mini–Aussie Doodle) I also must properly plan for him to be riding shot gun. Due to him being a mini which means he is currently 10 pounds I also must be ready to defend him, because clearly my dog is useless and will not be defending me.
My trip is still a little over a month away but as of now my plans are pretty set in stone for the locations and stops, I will be making. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time, Teddy doesn’t seem to care either way. I will be writing about my experience along the way and hopefully this trip goes well to not deter me from future endeavors. But as we all know nothing ever goes as planned and at one point or another it turns into a shit show. But hey, nothing is better than having a good story right?
Meander With Mal 